Extreme?

Well, I've done it (phase 1, at least). Basia is a hurricane like no other I've ever seen. We can clean her room and literally seconds later, there is no floor to be seen. A few months ago, I drastically cut the number of toys in there and gave boxes of toys away. I was hoping it would help. I especially cut down on all the teeny, tiny toys that get dumped out over and over again but never are enjoyed much.

Jon and I are both slobs by nature, but I try to tidy up on a fairly regular basis. Our bedroom and garage are usually not company-worthy, but the rest of the house is usually passable, especially with about 20-minutes' notice and even without if you are family or understanding enough to realize that at least three of us are here doing things virtually all day, every day. I'm not relating to Basia as an extreme neat-freak. Messiness is something that I understand and have created myself on a very regular basis.

I went to a workshop last year about kinesthetic learners. Kinesthetic learners are often labeled ADHD. The first thing the kinesthetic-by-nature speaker did was to create massive chaos in the once-orderly room by making sure tables and chairs were scattered about without rhyme or reason. Some were even toppled. He let us know that that is what many kinesthetic learners do to their environment immediately and constantly, without ever noticing there is a problem. They may be looking for one small item and dump out hundreds of others in the process then change their mind about that one item and play with something else for a brief time before they move on again.

That is definitely what Basia does in her room. I truly believe that she CANNOT keep it clean--even for a day or an hour. It just is not in her nature to notice when she has caused chaos or to care when things are a mess. If she can carve out a spot of her bed to sleep on, she doesn't mind having rocks and dolls and twigs and cars and that Valentine that someone gave her two years ago scattered around the rest of the bed. It doesn't bother her a bit.

The problem is that I have to walk by that bedroom many times a day. Guests walk by her bedroom to reach the bathroom. I considered shutting her door and letting her live how she wants to live. Then I worried that she would become one of those people featured on Oprah who have let the clutter and chaos take over their lives to the point that they cannot ever even invite close family over for a visit. There is a lot of shame and sadness in that sort of lifestyle, and I don't want that for Basia.

So, I've decided to take extreme measures. I have started the process of taking all the toys out of her room. They are all going to be stored in the garage. I will let her order a bin or two each morning to play with that day. If she cleans those up and wants something else, she can ask. She will have to go through me and prove that everything has been put away before she gets anything new to play with. It's going to be a pain because I don't have a good storage system in the garage, but I really don't know what else to do.

There are still books and games in her room and her one bin of Barbie toys. I can't see myself ever taking her books away, but I will take away the games and last bin of toys if they seem to be all over the floor all the time. I've even put most of her shoes in the garage. She has some slip on shoes and some tennis shoes, and I can get others for her for church or to match certain outfits.

I will be very curious to see what kinds of messes she will start to make. I know there will be messes. I know she will find things to gather and dump. Will it be socks? Will she bring in junk from outside? Will she start playing with the games she has rarely touched? I will be watching! I'm just about desperate enough to take all but one pair of pajamas and an outfit for each day of the week!