A Million Little Things: Volume 1

Warning: Posts with this title will be mopey. That is the point. I'm not going to force myself to find the silver lining in each one of these posts, but rest assured that I will get there in my own way and in my own time.

I said I was going to post about the things I hate to leave behind in Las Cruces and at Morning Star, and this is the first such post. I never know what will make sadness hit, how long it will stay, or when it will leave me alone for a while. I have felt pretty good for the last week mostly because it still seems so far away, and I haven't wanted to create a post that makes me sad on purpose. I'd rather post when I am already sad to get it all out. I'm still not sad tonight, but I do want to share something that I am leaving behind when I move to St. Mark's: momentum.

I co-led our first Financial Peace University class at church tonight, and there was a really great turn-out! I am reminded of that movie my sister made us watch 4,104,448 times when we were growing up with the phrase, "If we build it, they will come." That is how it feels to be at Morning Star. We have built on to the church, and it is filling up like crazy. Palm Sunday was huge. Easter Sunday was the biggest worship ever! We host Financial Peace, and people come, both from in the church and in the community.

Things are hopping, and people are wanting to be a part of what we are offering. It is so much fun to be a part of that and so very scary to leave that behind. Here's the jealous human in me: I get this twinge of jealousy when I realize that we take all that Morning Star has become and hand it over to the next pastor and just walk away. He and his family get everything that is dear to me: the people, the programs, the missions, the exciting forward momentum that is Morning Star.

Proper pastoral etiquette says that we walk away on July 1, and our shadows do not fall across the doors of the church for any reason for at least a full year. After that we can come only if specifically invited by the current pastor for something big like an anniversary celebration. We will be less than an hour away, so some will not understand why I can't bring the kids back for VBS or why I can't come back once a month for Ladies' Breakfast or why Jon can't perform a certain funeral or wedding. They may feel abandoned. I just hope they realize that it is also hard to be on this side of the fence, to be the ones walking away.