Coffee Confessions

This week I became one of those parents.   Basia started drinking a cup of coffee each morning before school and another one before Tae Kwon Do.   I am testing its value as an ADHD medication.

Basia was officially diagnosed with ADHD in June, and her doctor wants to put her on medications.  I never even wanted her to have the label, much less any medications. 

One of the great things about homeschooling is that I can tailor the education to fit the specific needs of the child, no labels necessary.  Basia doesn't have to sit still and work independently, as would be expected in school.  I watch her for signs that she needs a break or needs some physical activity, and I try to give her the freedom she needs while still expecting a lot from her. 

Many will say that she has to learn to sit still someday, but I counter that there are careers and educational paths that do not require full days' worth of sitting.  She can sit through church.  She can sit through 10-hour road trips.  She can function in every-day life just fine.  I do not have to prepare her to sit in an office for 9 hours a day because I hope to help her choose a career that better relates to her strengths, of which she has plenty.

Why would I even consider medicating her with caffeine or ADHD meds?  Basia's doctor knew what to say to get me, a lifelong believer that too many kids are getting labels and being medicated just because they do not fit in the right box, thinking.  Without isolating the ADHD and controlling it, I cannot really determine how much of her learning difficulties are related to the ADHD and how much is related to learning disorders.  If there is even a small chance that something could calm her brain enough to make these early stages of reading and math easier for her, I have to at least consider it. 

That doesn't make me eager to call her doctor and schedule that first appointment where we will try the smallest dose of an ADHD medication.  August is drawing to a close.  Her doctor is expecting a call.  I am grasping at straws, trying to avoid medications.  I have read that caffeine can do the same thing to the brain of an ADHD child as some of the milder meds, with less risk and stigma.  I am trying it. 

So when she tells you how much she loves coffee, try not to judge me as I previously judged those other parents who let their children drink coffee.  I really am trying to make the best decisions I can make.  And, heaven forbid I actually give my child a dose of Ritalin or other such medication, be gentle with me.  It will be done with great amounts of trepidation.  All those fears of changing her amazing personality, the guilt of expecting her to be someone she is not, the news stories of side effects that are dangerous, will all be heavy on my heart.

I better go make sure she has finished her cup o' joe.  And brushed her teeth.  There's nothing like coffee breath on a 6-year-old.