Hair Woes

We have hair issues.  I do not want to embarrass anyone here, so I won't use names.  I still feel the need to share our struggles, though, as a public service announcement to all.   I only wish someone had done the same for me.  I probably would have laughed at you, though, knowing that MY child is much too smart to make those sorts of errors.

I have a child, who shall remain nameless.  This child has washed his own hair for many years now.  I'm sure I taught him the proper technique once upon a time, when he was approximately five.  That's seven or eight years ago now.  I never thought much about it again.  When he grew his hair longer when he was 8 or so, I started making him use conditioner.  I figured out after some time that he was using the conditioner before the shampoo and explained the proper order.    Case closed.  Parent pats herself on the back.

Mostly, this child of mine is responsible for his own cleanliness, and I haven't been near one of his showers since he stopped taking baths eons ago.  This may have been a bad mistake.  My village (that's all of you, people) never told me that kids may need refresher courses on proper washing techniques.  My village (you, again) never told me that pre-teen laziness can manifest itself in the shower.  Now I know.

This child is again growing his hair longer, and it hasn't been looking all that good.  I question him to make sure he is conditioning.  I question to make sure he is conditioning AFTER shampooing.  I remind him to brush his hair and brush it again.  Still, it just never looks quite...right. 

Well, that's because it probably hasn't been properly washed since I did it for him in his last bath at age 5.    We found out last week that he didn't realize that his hair should all be wet BEFORE he puts shampoo in it.  WHAT???  Just for kicks, I tried to shampoo my hair without wetting it.  Um.  That doesn't work.  At all.   We let him in on the secret value of using water and thought that would fix the problem.

Today he showered, presumably washed his hair, and did his version of brushing his hair.  His hair looked horrible.  Jon tried to explain to him how to more fully brush ALL the layers of his thick Daves family hair.  As Jon was showing him how to brush, yes, even the places he cannot see in the mirror (not that he looks in a mirror), Jon noticed that his hair still seemed dirty. 

That's when we decided that we must do one of the most horrifying things a parent of an almost-teen could ever do.  We had to physically show him how to wash his hair.  We had him suit up in his swim trunks and both followed him into the bathroom for a not-so-fun beginner lesson in the proper-care-and-feeding of his thick mane.   We got our hands on his head.  We corrected.  We demonstrated.  We let him feel how it should feel to be scrubbing way down deep at the scalp.  We offered to cut all his hair off if he preferred the easier washing of a buzz cut.  

This child of mine learned a valuable lesson today that he will use throughout his long life.  Just wash your hair really well the first time so that your parents won't put on their swimsuits and insist on washing your hair for you.  I have no doubt that threat will do the trick.

The parents of this child learned a valuable lesson today, too. It's time to stop assuming that the kids have it all figured out unless we have made the effort to teach them and teach them again.  Next week's lesson:  how to surprise your mother with kind gifts.