Those Doggone Adoption Time Estimates

For those of you who have not adopted, let me enlighten you a bit.  The timelines you are given are for the ideal circumstances, and that ideal DOES NOT EXIST!!!!!!  When we were initially budgeting for this adoption, we did a lot of math to figure out how we would pull things off if things went quickly.  I reminded myself and Jon over and over again that things just do not go quickly in adoption.  I knew we would have lots of time to save up money, and it looks like I was right.

Here are some examples.  What we are told is in bold.  The reality follows.

1.  The homestudy will be ready right away--only it was never ready until I contacted the social worker's "higher up" to find out when I could expect it.

2.  The doctor will call you as soon as he gets your bloodwork results, usually within three days--a couple weeks later I called them and was told they didn't have the results and that they would call me.  Weeks after that I called again and finally got to make my return appointment.

3.  We will mail your Certified Marriage Licence today--still waiting two weeks later when it was mailed from our sister city, forty minutes away.

4.  It will take 10 days to get your police clearance letter--it's now been over three weeks, maybe four.

5.  I will assign your new case worker later this week--still waiting two plus weeks later.

6.  USCIS clearance takes up to 8 weeks--anyone care to wager how long it will really take, since it took 8 days for them to acknowledge receipt of our packet?

7.  We have no idea how long a referral will take--this we accepted because we joined a brand new pilot program.  We do know that no one has gotten a referral for our country, yet, which could mean we all get referrals at the same time, the others having to wait so much longer and pave the way for us, or we will join the line and wait practically forever, too.  I just know how these things tend to go.

When we started this process, really not that many months ago, we were in no hurry.  We had all the time in the world.  There's just something about getting started that makes you want to meet your new child already.  Patience flies out the window.  If I'm truly honest, I am ready to meet my next three kids already.  I'm ready to have a full house, to have a gang trailing along behind me at the grocery store (crazy, I know), to settle into a different kind of normal.  I no longer feel like a mom of two.  I feel like a mom of several, just playing the waiting game.

To be fair, I know I am not the only client of anyone.  I know each desk with my file on it also has a stack of other files.  I know that estimates are only estimates and that this is how things work in the world.  I know I am an impatient American, and that's not usually a pretty sight.  I know that each month we wait gives us another month to save up more money so we don't have to make Dave Ramsey (and my very anti-debt 7-year-old) shudder by having to take out a loan or get a credit card.  I also know that the timing always does seem to work just right in the end.  

I just wish the end did not seem so far away.