The Real Story of Miss Independent's Birthday

I shared the pretty pictures below.  Now is the time to document the not-so-pretty part of her birthday party. This is the part where all those people who like to compliment me on my mothering skills shake their heads and take back their kind comments.

Her birthday was the 17th.  The 17th was a Sunday, the perfect day for us to have her party.  I went the lazy route and just sent a facebook invite to the Las Cruces family several weeks ahead of time instead of making some sort of adorable snail-mail invitation.  They all replied that they would come.  We have a big enough family that I don't feel the need to invite others to the initial parties for these little ones.  When they get a little older, we have lots of great friends we can invite, but for now we are sticking with family-only parties.

Well, that's what I thought.

3pm on the 17th rolled around.  No one was here.  I didn't think anything of it.  We were in purple paradise. The birthday girl was dressed in her pretty purple dress.  I even managed to get out of my sweatshirt in time for the party.  I had been telling Miss Independent the list of her party guests for days.  She was very excited.  After her nap, she was poised and ready for each guest:  Grandmother, Granddad, Uncle Ken, Aunt Diana, Kaia, Camden, Sue, and David.  We repeated the guest list often and told her that the doorbell would ring any second.

3:08 rolled around.  Now this was a problem.  My family is not late.  My family taught me that on time is practically late.  For ALL my family to be late on the very same day?  That was not normal.  By El Paso standards, 3:08 is certainly not late and is actually pretty early for a 3pm party.  By Daves standards, 3:08 is just about unheard of.  My mom was bringing the cookies, and the spot at the table was still reserved for them.  It was very strange that she was not yet here.

I went to my computer to double check the time on my facebook invite.  Hmm.  Under "events" there was not a thing listed for Sunday, FEBRUARY 17.  Hmm.  Sick feeling in the tummy.  I scrolled and scrolled until I reached Sunday, MARCH 17.  Yep, there it was.  I had invited everyone to her party...a month later. My family doesn't know the exact birthday of each of my foster kids, so they, of course, trusted my invitation.

Oh, my gosh!  This little girl has not had an easy life by any stretch of the imagination. How on earth was I going to break her little happily-waiting heart with this news that I had ruined her very first birthday party with us?  She had already had to watch every other kid in the family have a birthday before it finally became her turn.

I quickly called my mom.  No answer.  I quickly called my brother.  No answer.

With tears in my eyes, I broke the news to my husband.  Miss Independent could definitely tell something was wrong.  She could tell that the excitement in the air moments before was not there.  I felt like the worst person in the world.

I took a few major breaths and started to problem-solve.  I had the set-up for a party.  We were sooooo going to have a party.  A friend was on her way over to drop off a book.  I tried calling her to ask if she could stay and bring her kids.  She didn't answer.  Another friend lives nearby and has three kids that my kids adore.  I called her with a shaky voice asking if she could do me the hugest favor and come to a party.  Yes, right now!  She said she would.  When the first friend rang the doorbell, I begged her and her daughter to stay.  She did.  She called her husband, who postponed his boys-only movie afternoon and came with their two boys.

Jon jokes that it was a reverse surprise party.  Instead of the birthday girl being the one surprised, it was the guests.  You thought you were just dropping off a book?  Surprise!  You're coming for a birthday party.  You thought you were going to spend a relaxing Sunday afternoon at home?  Surprise!  You're coming to a birthday party!

I will forever be grateful that we are at a place where we have friends we can call on so last minute to get us out of such a sad, little jam.  It was still very confusing to Miss Independent that the guest list was so different from the one we had been chanting all along, but it was a party.  It was a great party, in fact!  I love spending a Sunday afternoon with my family and missed having them with us for this special day, but it was such a lovely surprise to get to spend it with our friends.

When my mom heard the story a little later of my mess up, she and my dad got in the car and headed right over.  They made it in time for the cake, and I know that made Miss Independent's day.  Someday she can look back on the day and see all the purple-pretty-pictures.  We can let her think that I never messed up and that the day went off just as planned.  More likely, though, we'll share this story of her mom's big mess-up.  She'll know I was human, but she'll also know that she was loved in ways she didn't even know or expect.  She will also know that things do work out.  They just do.  Thank God!