Dear Birthmother...

One of the toughest things about preparing to adopt domestically is writing that "Dear Birthmother (or birth family)" letter.  What do you say to someone who is in that horribly tough position of choosing someone else to raise her child?  I still have the letter and packet that Basia's birthmom saw when she chose us.  I can't actually look at it.  I am almost afraid to know what we chose to say.  It is so personal, putting your self out there, almost selling yourself, hoping she finds you to be the best parents she could choose. 

I can tell you that I do not want to write another one of those letters, and I didn't think I had to this time around.  I don't.  A birthparent will not be choosing me.  There will be an agency, officials, and a government involved.  Here's what I have to write instead:

"An Attestation of Family Composition"

Yes, it is as scary as it sounds.  I have to tell, in a 2-page letter, the Ministry of Social Action why we want to adopt one of their children, what our family is like, our commitment to the child's culture, and a description of our home.  This won't be a heart-to-heart letter from one mother to another, as a "Dear Birthmother" letter is.  This will be a heart-felt letter about why we should be allowed to bring a child out of his or her homeland forever more to raise in our little house, in our little family instead.   Can one ever be worthy of such a thing?  That is always under debate, even in my own head.  We know we will love this child and do our best to raise the child with love for birth culture and homeland.

But it is so very hard to put into words.