Not-So-Happy-Chronicles of Finding a Babysitter

Sheesh!  I am a stay-at-home mom!  I really never wanted to be an employer.  I didn't ever plan on conducting lots of interviews, call-backs, and secondary interviews.  My agency has been asking me if we have a childcare provider hired, yet, so I am as on-the-ball as I can be.  I joined one of those sites where they do background checks of nannies and babysitters, and you find a good match.  I posted a job listing.

Here is how I have been conducting our search:

Step 1:  Post job (we need a mom's helper to help me with the kids once we become a group home and have 7 or more kids in our house)

Step 2:  Weed through the responses.  It is funny how many people respond to everything but back away once I point out how many young children I have.  I am clear about that in the job posting, so there are people out there not really reading the posting.

Step 3:  Interview number one.  The initial interviews have been happening at McDonald's.  I find that works because my kids can be there playing.  I can get a little bit of a read as to how they interact with children.  Also I am not handing out my address before they fill out the background check form for me.  I printed out a pretty serious list of interview questions.  The answers can be revealing.  I also find out who shows up on time, who is really early to make sure they are there on time, and who is late and full of excuses as to why it is my fault they are late.

Step 4:  Interview number two.  This interview is an on-the-job interview.  They come to my house and act as the mommy's helper for a shift, with pay, of course.  This interview is a million times more revealing than any previous communication or interview!!  A person can be super sweet and professional and on-time and know all the right answers and be completely unable to handle my children in any sort of capacity.  You can see my 911 post below to see what else can happen at this stage in the game.

Step 5:  Job offer.  We actually finally got to this step.  We split the hours we will need regularly filled into two even positions and offered those two positions to two ladies.  They both accepted happily, but I already have a request to adjust the schedule, so I hope I am not heading back to Step 1.


Here are our sitters, in a nutshell:

Sitter 1--I had a mom's helper come last summer for a few hours a week for a few weeks.  She was awesome!  My children loved her.  She was a fellow homeschool mom, and I had zero complaints.  Unfortunately, she was so awesome that she got a real job with the schools.  Shucks!

Sitter 2--I did not hire another sitter until a couple months ago.  I really wanted someone I could call on when I have to take a kid to the doctor, since having them all at appointments is HORRIBLE!  I again advertised on our homeschool board.  There was an interested mom, who I hired.  She came right on time the first time.  She came really late the second time.  The 3rd time she came late and asked to leave part way through so she could pick up her son--20 minutes turned into an hour.  The next time she was scheduled to come at 2, she texted me at 2 to let me know she couldn't come until 5.  She also only responded to texts when she felt like it, so I still had no one to watch some of the kids while I took others to the doctor.

She did text and ask for hours again last week.  Since I already have her approved background check, I decided to give her another shot.

She was going to come last Saturday.  2pm came.  She did not.  2:30 came.  She did not.  I texted her, and she said she was on her way but was running late because she had to clean her church.  SHE NEVER CAME!!!  No call.  No text.  Nothing!  A couple days ago she apologized and let me know that she really needs money and will be 100% faithful from now on.  Um, no.  I have lost track of the number of strikes, but she is definitely out!  I think she brushes me off because she knows I am also home so how can it matter if or when she comes.  The reality is that it is going to matter a lot once we are a group home.

Sitter 3--This one was so professional through the first steps of the hiring process!  She was very much on time.  She stepped right in at McDonald's when one of the little ones spilled my entire drink everywhere.  She was dressed professionally.  She answered everything just right, including the fact that she really doesn't approve of TV for kids.  We set up her next on-the-job interview.  Again, she was on time.  She was very nice...and very overwhelmed!  Within 30 minutes she was asking if she could put a TV show on for the kids.  She kept losing the kids.  One or two would wander inside, and pretty soon, she had no idea where three of them went.  I was trying to pack for a trip, but I know I would have been able to do so more freely had Brishen been the one watching the kids.  She gave me a big hug when she left, and she never contacted me again.   I think she'd probably be a great sitter for a couple of elementary aged kids, but my brood was just too much.

Sitter 4--This one lasted 10 minutes before I had to literally call 911.  He was hospitalized for days, cannot drive for 6 months, and has moved back to his hometown.  Let's just say that one did not work out.

Sitter 5--This one was my favorite from the interview phase.  She has all sorts of great qualifications and is really sweet.  She was perfectly fine at her on-the-job training, so she is one of the ones we have offered a job.  (Here is where I will remind you that I haven't left my children with these sitters.  I am there all the time, changing all the diapers, comforting all the cries, doing puzzles, reading books, fixing snacks.  I am only looking for a helper, not trying to pawn off my kids!)  Unfortunately, this is the sitter who now wants to come in to talk to me about the schedule even though she initially thought it looked great.  I am worried!

Sitter 6--I was not all that impressed by her first interview.  She was fine, but she seemed a little ditsy.  She let me know that she doesn't like potty training (does anyone???  however, it is often a big part of our life.).  She said she would play video game tournaments with the kids.  No, thanks.  I still gave her a second interview because I cannot afford to have too few people to call upon!  She was amazing in her 2nd interview!!  Amazing!  She stepped in and worked the entire time she was here.  When most of the kids were napping, and the little one who was awake insisted that I be the one to read the book to her, the sitter immediately started tidying.  She saw me folding laundry at one point and jumped right in to fold.  When the kids went outside for snack and play, she asked if I wanted her to supervise the kids or clean up inside.  She asked if it would be OK to do science experiments with them next time (she's getting a fancy science degree).  At one point the kids were getting fussy, and she jumped right in to an activity with paper and scissors and fun.  She also has a wide open schedule!  Yes, she was also offered a job!

Sitter 7--Even though we already liked two of our sitter interviewees, we decided to let another one have her 2nd in-home interview today.  She was one of my favorites from the 1st interview but is only looking for something short term since she hopes to get a teaching job soon.  I decided that I better have some more back up in case something happens with one of our other sitters or for those times when we may need two at once.  Oh, my.  I cannot tell you how badly I wanted to send her home only half-way through her time!  It would have been a much more laid-back afternoon had she not been there, and she was absolutely no help.  None.  Brishen is miles above her in the helpfulness rankings.  I kept having to stop myself from calling on one of my big kids to help when I was paying someone right there to do the helping.  She just had absolutely no initiative.  She lost kids and never once went to check on them.  She let two play in the mess from a leaky diaper without noticing or apologizing for not noticing or offering to help clean the mess!  When she left, she said she would be happy to come back any time.  I might be ever so slightly less happy with that arrangement.


Sitter 8--To Be Determined.  Now I have to search for another 3rd string babysitter back-up.  I was really hoping I was done.  Books are written and movies are made that tell how horrible it is to be a nanny for a spoiled family like mine must seem (yes, I feel spoiled that I am hiring someone to hang out and help me do what I have been doing on my own for the last 20 months, even though I know it will be nice to have when we do get a fuller house.).  Where are the books on how hard it is to be on this side of the equation?   Why are "Nanny Diaries" all about the drama that the parents cause?  It goes both ways, people!  There are stories that we can tell, too!