The Hidden Costs of School

We have four kids in private school (preschool).  We enrolled them to SAVE us money.  I know that sounds crazy, but it's true.  It saves us about $1600 per month over having to have two full time nannies.  The math works out because we are lucky to have connections at the school, so we get a nice deal for our children.  The very first week of preschool, however, I learned there are some hidden costs of any school.  I think private school may be even more costly, though.

I have FOUR kids attending, and the birthday party invitations started arriving in mass the very first week.  These aren't those fill-in-the-blank birthday invites that you buy at Walmart.  Nope.  These invitations are embossed with the child's name, usually "princess" or "superhero" someone or other.  We are invited to the child's "castle" or "realm."  I decided that first week that we will not go to any birthday parties of classmates unless we happen to know the family ourselves or if I hear the child is a best friend of one of our kids.  This saves us the cost of buying a lot of whatever in the world you buy a princess who has her own realm over and over again throughout the school year.  It also saves my weekends.  It also helps me hide how fancy birthday parties can be since my kids are pretty happy with the family affairs we currently have.  I know it may make my kids social outcasts, but they haven't noticed so far.

Then there are the school pictures.  This isn't a private school only sort of thing.  It's probably not even unique that we were sent home with pictures even after we were very specific that we were not intending to buy pictures when we turned in the forms before picture day.  They still sent pictures home to try to convince us.  My sister spoiled me into wanting a little more for my money in the picture department, though, and a fake waterfall in the background doesn't quite cut it.  The first week we were asked to buy class pictures and shortly thereafter asked to buy spring individual pictures.  We missed the fall ones this year, I guess.  When I started adding up what the smallest package of pictures would cost my times four, I choked a bit and passed.

My kids beg to eat in the cafeteria.  Their favorite day of the week is the one day when we don't pack their lunch and let them eat a hot lunch instead.  They would love to eat a hot lunch every day.  The problem is that private schools don't have those free lunch programs like public schools.  Most of my kids are foster kids, so they would easily qualify for free lunches at a public school.  Instead it costs us $14 per day for hot lunches, and each year it gets more expensive as they get older.  A week worth of $14 per day is quite a bit of money, and a month of that is not amusing at all.  I really don't like making lunches each morning, but I can quite easily pack four lunches for quite a bit less than $14.

We got a form in February or March to buy school supplies---for next year.  They order school supplies from Staples and have them delivered to the school.  This saves the parents a lot of work, but there is a cost to the convenience--times four.  I had to blindly order supplies not knowing if all four of my school kiddos will even still be in my home next year.  I also had to register them in February for next year in order to save their spots, and registration is not free.  We only had to pay the registration fee, however, as they waived $2000 (!!!) worth of other fees for us.  Yes, we are spoiled!  Again, I had to register kids who may not even be here next year.  (We did get a confirmation from the social worker last week that it is probably a good thing we got them registered for school, so I'm thinking they're staying!)

There are, of course, fundraisers (times four), class snacks, class parties, field trips, and school concerts where your child MUST wear an animal shirt until two days before when spring attire is substituted and animal attire is out even though the animal attire has already been purchased.

We recently had teacher appreciation week, which I know is pretty universal.  We were given suggestions of something to do for the teachers and aides each day of the week--times four kids.  It surprised me to start receiving requests the very next week for end-of-the-year donations toward teacher gifts.  For one class we were asked to give $20 and then also go to a local jeweler to buy a charm to go on the teacher's charm bracelet.  I'm lucky if I can find a way to make it to the grocery store before things become desperate around here.  I can't imagine finding a way to make it to a jeweler without a ton of kids in tow, and, let's face it, one kid is too many at the jeweler's.  Another class gave a long list of teachers and helpers who will be getting gift cards thanks to our generous donations.  Ugg.

I have been a homeschooler for so long.  I enter this school life with reluctance and am surprised at all we have been able to miss all these years.  There may come a day when all this is an expected part of life, but I'm still caught off guard over and over again at the requests for my checkbook to open for something besides tuition.  We are very thankful to have been given coveted spots for our children at their school, so I hate to complain.  I am just still aware that this new way of life has a steep learning curve--and a few more bills than we realized.