10 Days to Forever!

July 2013, the night they arrived

That old familiar feeling that surely this isn't real, that something will go wrong to mess things up is here again.

 We got word a few days ago that our lawyer has booked us a date to finalize the adoptions of Soren and Tobias, and the date is soon.  Even though we knew it was time, it caught us a bit off guard.  The boys' case worker has been out of town all month, so I'm hoping she is ready to jump right in with her required paperwork when she returns this week.  If she's ready, there's no reason why that 10 day mark won't be a reality, and our agency will make sure to have her get ready.  That means I have no reason to fret, but it's all so hard to believe that we have had such an amazing summer, and that 7 of our kids will be our kids in 10 days.  We started the summer with 3 forever kids and 6 foster kids.  Sir Smiles went home, we adopted Cassia and Edison, and will soon adopt Soren and Tobias.  We will be down to one last foster child in less than two months' time.

I am trying to get together some pictures for a slide show to share on the adoption day and pictures are bringing back lots of memories.  I think I will share some of them now.

Soren and Tobias were brought to our house 13 months ago after a kinship foster placement did not ensure their safety.  We had a busy July 2013 of foster children coming and going.  We got the call to take these two the night before a baby we had was going to live with her dad.  The call came from our agency director. She had a feeling these were our boys.  She had a good feeling these boys would stay for good, too.  She hand picked us for them.  I have long trusted our agency directors.  I feel they pray about where kids should be placed, and I trust them fully if they call us about a placement because I know they feel it is right for our family and the kids, and they have always been so very right.  Jackie knew these were our boys.  Wow!

When the case worker pulled up to our house, the boys jumped out of her car and greeted me, "Hi, I'm ____!"  and, "Hi, I'm ______!"  Of course I first noticed their cool red hair.  The red isn't a usual color of red, and it is most unusual since the boys are fully hispanic.  Soren had sad brown eyes to go with his hair, and Tobias had the sweetest blue eyes.  They were wearing giant t-shirts and came with a bag of wet clothes that, for the most part, did not fit either of them.  They came right in and got busy playing.  I think joining a house with other kids your same age does take away some of the fear and pressure of that first meeting.

The boys did just fine until bedtime.  That was when they realized they were stuck with us.  That was when they started screaming for their dad and grandma.  They wanted chocolate milk in sippy cups, they wanted the lights all the way on, and they wanted their grandma.  It was rough, but they finally fell asleep.

The next day Tobias did really well.  He ate and played and slept.  Soren was in full depression.  He wouldn't eat.  He laid on the couch the entire day, actually the entire week.  He did not use the bathroom for days.  When it came time for bedtime again, the screaming scene repeated itself.  I so badly wanted to hold them, to hug them, to try to make it all better, but they did not want to be touched.  They were friendly to all of us, but they did not want us to comfort them.  They were 2 1/2 and 3 1/2, and they had to face the loss of everything and everyone they knew in life, and I couldn't make it better.

A turning point came when I offered Soren a piece of plain bread.  He said that his dad use to give him bread, too.  He took it and then ate several pieces.  He slowly started to come alive.  After about the third night, Tobias informed me that he wasn't going to cry at night anymore.  As long as Soren could have his sippy cup (with water at our house), he was able to relax enough to go to sleep, too.  Soren was sadder than any foster child I have ever had, and it broke my heart.

A few days later, they had a visit with their mom, and that meant the world to them.  They were happy to come back to us after their visit and really started to blossom.  I think Soren needed to see someone familiar in this world where his whole life had changed in an instant.

Those first days have now turned into over a year together, a year where these boys have bonded with new parents and brothers and sisters.  Those first greetings were the first words I ever heard from the boys who will become my forever sons in just ten days.  Those boys who did not want to be held or hugged or loved will now fight over my lap and run across the room to give me a hug.  We have a history together.  We stuck together during those rough first days and for all the days after, the happy and sad ones.  That's what we will continue to do.  Forever in 10.